I kind of like the term eyes wide shut. No, not the Kubrick film, although all those elaborate masks were pretty. I'm referring to your resistance to sleepwalk with me. I'm sorry, I can't guide you when your mind is on things out there in your "real" world.
Remember all those years you were busy roofing and couldn't write even when you felt the urge? Too tired, I think, was your excuse. Lack of creative juice, I remember, was your diagnosis.
No. Your eyes were not wide shut when you looked at me. It really hurt my feelings because I was standing right in front of you.
Yet you kept your journals, pouring out words, and I thought, there's hope yet. If only you would stop trying so hard.
Remember how you overcame your problem? You sat down one night and gave yourself over to me. And suddenly, you saw the slew of Vikings descending down the hill, with your long-haired slave riding in the middle. And your knight-hero watching the enemy coming down, with blood lust and battle cries in the air.
Oh, that was an awful, awful story you wrote. The terrible knights who talked like SEAL boys; the Viking berserker who was into mind control; the horrid, horrid 'nays' and 'sirrahs,' the heroine who was six foot tall and kickass like kungfu goddess Chieng Pei Pei in her prime. Hahahahahahahaha.
But that moment freed me from my imprisonment. The words flowed, I had a great time watching you rummage in that treasure box, looking at pieces of your lost soul.
Ah.
These days I feel you looking for them again. Where have you hidden them this time, writer? Are your eyes wide shut?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
In a non-stalkerish way, I want you to know that I love you.
Thank you for sharing your muse and what got you to engage me so thoroughly. You're a busy woman with a gloriously full and varied life and you still manage to bring readers novels that keeps us awake at night.
So G, what was your turning point?
Deborah,
I think us Muses are so underappreciated in the real world that I asked Gennita for a place of my own outside her head, so I can understand the human cluelessness.
So here I am.
Gennita's turning point, if you mean TP as the point in time the words started flowing, has to do with timing. Gennita is a materially-insecured person. Being a lone woman, with no family support in this country, she was determined to survive the odds and be successful materially. So, to cut a long story short, she spent many years concentrating on her brawn than her brain.
I don't blame her. But I cried buckets all those years because she was trying to write and ignoring me. But clearly, she wasn't ready.
So, are you ready for your Muse? We are patient, but we also fade when we're ignored.
Post a Comment